Grief is like the ocean;  it comes like wave ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” – Vicki Harrison

Today i am here with a topic that is not so positive but it is very very important to discuss about. Grief is something we all experience at some point of time in life. Sometimes we easily navigate through it sometimes we are stuck in it unable to come out of it.

What is grief ?

• Grief is an emotional response which is sorrow or distress over loss of someone.
• Grief could be associated to a loss of a living being with whom we have had an emotional connect.
• But grief could be also associated to a loss of property, or a job with which you have had a deep rooted alliance. 
• Coping up with grief aptly with the same amount of strength  every time is not everyone’s cup of tea.
• At one time we would have dealt with grief with lot of grace and dignity, other time it could be that we are not even able to accept it.
• We as human being being are made of emotions. These emotions are one which makes us superior and these emotions which makes us vulnerable as well.

Grief vs Depression - Are they same?

Most of the time these two words are used in tandem but they are different. When a person is in grief then he is deep sadness. But when a person is in depression he feels worthless. Depression is much more personal. But grief is more circumstantial. Grieving is a phase and feeling depressed is a state of mind. But this cant be denied that person who is in grief have the chances to get into depression.

What can cause grief ??

Let us understand that what can cause grief

• Loss of someone that is death of someone
• Loss of relationships - breakups and divorces and friendships
• Loss of a job and thereby financial stability
• Terminal illness, miscarriage.
• Death of a pet.
• Loss of a property or family home
• Feeling unsafe after a traumatic experience.
• Loss of ones own dream.

What are the stages of grief ?

These are some of the basic things that we usually experience grief.The entire grieving process is broken down into 5 stages by a Swiss Psychiatrist Kübler Ross Not everyone goes through all five stages.

Stage 1 is Denial - this is the first reaction when the news have come to us but we are not able to take it. We think “ no this can’t happen “ and want to hold on to our preferred version of reality. 

Stage 2 is Anger - Now the second immediate reaction is when we feel frustrated and question ourselves and ask “ Why on earth this has happened to me” and “ It is not fair” kind of feeling

Stage 3 is Bargaining - When the loss is too big then we start negotiating “ asking god to bring him or her back” “ take my life and give his back “

Stage 4 is Depression - This is the lowest point in grieving, when we feel that everything is worthless, start feeling hopeless and may be a little guilty, If grief curve is the wave then it the lowest point in the wave.

Stage 5 is Acceptance - this is when we come to terms with the reality. When we learn that this thing shouldn’t have happened but definitely I can cope up with this.

You learn that old experience can’t be replaced, but you move, grow, and evolve into your new reality.

Stage 4 to stage 5 transition takes a longer time than other stages. People who have had dealt with such losses before may not go through stage 4 at all.

The way we cope up with grief depends on many factors including your personality, your life experiences, how significant the loss was to you

We can’t say that this is the right way to grieve. Whatever type of loss we've suffered, there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. But by understanding the stages and types of grief, we can learn a healthier way to cope.