Positively Realistic - Should We Take The Middle Way?

  • 4 min read

The two words, One is "Positive" and other one is "Realistic", both of them so contradicting in their synonyms isn't it ? Oxymoron of sorts. But the question is can one be positive and real at the same time ?? Let us first understand these two words separately and then see later how these two philosophies could be combined and put into use.

Positivity is a tendency where a person tends to be optimistic in his attitude, when he looks at the brighter side of things.

Realism on the other hand is a very deep rooted and an old philosophy which basically emphasises on truth and factual reality, being really practical about things.

  • We sometimes have big dreams like having a good job, a high pay, a very good quality of life, an understanding and a compatible partner all this and much more. All this sound so good and when we visualise these dreams its looks so beautiful and all happy isn't it ?? We should have dreams and should have ambitions too. But when we always look at the sunny side, do we even think that there could be a rain or for that matter a small drizzle that might wash off the our big dreams ?? Where is the Anchorage then ?? We should fly no doubt, do we have cushioning when in case we fall ??

Now here comes our Protagonist "Realism". which helps to anchor our big Dreams (Positivity). Here we see What is possible, how can this be possible, What are the things that could be planned to achieve the same. How much of our dreams is achievable ?? What are consequences ? When we think this way we are more focused, most importantly we are prepared for all sorts of consequences.

Sometimes we need to be practical and measure our steps when we treading towards an ambition in life. on the other hand, Sometimes life isn't easy and we do get mindful of our every action and are doubtful of our every step, every action. being a realist in such a scenario will completely put us off the radar, we will always be skeptical and cynical. Here enters our Star that is "Positivity ", which gives us the POWER, the power of Hope and power of Faith.

To understand this better, lets get into a small example. There is a scenario, there is a board meeting where new idea is being discussed. This idea will receives slashes of many perspectives. There would be some people would be saying "If this works then there could be an addition to the product line and then subsequently there could be an expansion". There could be another set of people saying, "How do we surely say that this product if launched will be liked by the people, let's do some market research and find out then make necessary changes to this idea to gain acceptance". The first perspective was positive and the second was positively realistic. The second idea sounded really grounded right ??

What if we take a similar road in life, wherein we take a mid way taking the good things from both these philosophies. Some Positive faith combined with some realistic goals will definitely bring success. Our motto should be "Dream BIG but set goals that are achievable. Our Goals needs to be SMART".

S - Specific- that is well defined

M - Measurable- that is assessable

A - Achievable- that is possible

R - Realistic- that is practical

T - Time Bound- that is setting a time frame for achieving it.

What is the boon of using this Philosophy:

  • We are aware of what we want, how much we want and whether it is achievable
  • Our Abilities, Our Qualities, Our virtues are all sharpened and chiseled.
  • We are very much in the present and focussed on our work because we are practical, we know for sure that only when we work towards our objective we can reach where we desire to reach.
  • We don't feel disheartened when we don't get to the Goal because this is something that we have already thought about and also worked out an alternative strategy (plan B).
  • Sometimes parents who are very optimistic have big dreams and ambitions for their kids in other words big expectations. But when we are positively realistic we also think of Child's inherent capacity and how much of it he can really achieve and what is that they want to do ?
  • Words like PLANNING, PERSISTENCE, STRATEGIES etc matter to you than the words like DREAM and SUCCESS.
  • We also understand that what we have to do our job correctly optimally and sincerely rest other things are not under our control.

For Example we can't say "Oh I wish it doesn't rain today " but instead make an effort to carry an Umbrella!

So in a nutshell, when its comes to Positive realism, it is a modern and urban term and is very important when we deal with ourselves, our thinking ,our attitude and our mind. Not only that it also helps us to understand people around us their opinions, their side of story, their point of view. Human being however independent he may be, can't survive alone. There is an interdependency with others around and the environment. So it becomes very very important to empower ourselves with a mindset which makes us more wiser and more mature, when it comes to handling different situations and dealing with all kinds people. We also are able to face tough times without refuting it at the same time possess the attitude of cherishing the moment.

I would like to conclude this write up with a very popular saying of Walt Disney - "I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but iam realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter".

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Author / Speaker  →

Freelance Clinical psychologist and on call consultant psychologist for Athulya senior care. Expert Panelist for online mental health portals for PARENTUNE and RYTLIFE
A mental wellness therapist/ counsellor/ psychologist. I believe in maintaining healthy mind enriched with healthy postive thoughts.
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