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Setting You Up with Your Children, Scary Parents!

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Parents can be scary sometimes. They scare the pants off their kids. Not all parents are scary. Some are. Ask yourself, "When was the last time your son or daughter told you that he or she loved you?" If you have never heard your child say "I love you dad or mom" then better find out why. Perhaps your child is the kind of child who doesn't express his or her feelings, Or is it that your child is afraid of you?


(Here's a real story, name's changed)

Jasper is 8 years old. He fears his father like hell. Whenever jasper does something wrong, most of the times he does not want to go to his father. Why? Perhaps it has something to do with the way his father reacts when Jasper does something wrong. 

  • What is his father's reaction to his son when he has done something wrong or something that does not please him?
  • How does Jasper's father treat him to the extent that Jasper does not want to go to him?


What is Jasper's view of his father? - Nobody knew exactly how he was treated by his father. To make things complicated, Jasper lived with his step mother. Even so, I do not know how he was treated in that house. We might be scary to our children and we ourselves may not know it. So we have to always stop and think about how our children behave whenever we are around?


Questions to Ask yourself

Take a minute to think about these three things:

  1. Children feel secure when they are with their parents, but what if they do not feel secure when you are around? 
  2. Children view their parents as the best in the world, but what they think that you are the worst parent ever?
  3. Children view their parents as their heroes, but what if they view you as a villain?


Being Scary to our children can affect them in one way or another. Parents, let us make sure that our children aren't scared or afraid of us, if we do so our children will honor us and their love for us will continue growing. They will view us as their heroes, they will view us as the best in the whole world. Just Imagine how you would feel if one day, your son or daughter tells you from his or her heart that he or she loves you, that you are the best in the whole world. It would feel great, wouldn't it?


Jasper mentioned earlier never wanted to go back home, he wouldn't even go to eat lunch and his father couldn't care less. If you as a father do not care for your son or daughter, do you think your son's or your daughter's stepmother or second mother would care?


Fortunately, I guess for young Jasper, his mother came for him. She did not like the way her son was treated. So, she took him away from his father. I guess Jasper was open with her. He must have told her everything.


After a few months I saw Jasper with his mother again. Her mother said, "When we were going to come here - at Jasper's grand parents house- I told him that we were going to meet his grandparents but he didn't like the idea. He did not want to come this way with me." When I saw Jasper, his eyes were filled with tears meaning that he was crying. He did not want to come and meet his grandparents, I guess because his grand parents lived near the place his father was renting.


Now, Jasper  lives with his mother and I do not know if he will ever want to come to his father ever again. He is only 8. Will he ever forget whatever he went through when he is older? 


Parents, are you scary to your children?

When your children hear you getting to the house, do they hide under the table? Or do they lock themselves in their rooms? A friend of mine asked such a question this way, "When your kids realize that you are back home, do they hide under the cups? It was funny imagining the kids hiding under the cups. (Back on Track)


Nowadays, do they like spending time with you? Lastly, do you two talk? Asking yourself such questions will no doubt help you find the answers to the questions you ask yourself about your children. This has been it in setting you up and your children, Scary Parents.

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Derrick Mbabazi is the founder of Novarick, a platform he believes will reach great heights. He is passionate about helping others and wants to share useful info here. He aims to make it easy for peo…
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